Friday, December 21, 2007

Ideas for Roger Clemens

Who would you rather be today, Roger Clemens with his Hall of Fame resume yet a possible steroid link bigger than the size of Bonds head or Jamie Lynn Spears?

OK so forget I asked that question.

Roger Clemens has been accused in the Mitchell Report of using steroids and Human growth Hormone. Clemens vehemently denies this making 2 unconvincing statements through his attorney. But let's pretend for a minute that these allegations are 100% true. After all, former Yankees trainer Brian McNamee did swear under oath to the FBI that he was telling the truth.

Clemens has handled this situation worse than Kramer handled those hecklers at his stand up in LA. But Roger is 45 so maybe he needs some help in how to repair his tarnished legacy right now. After all, he is only 5 years away from getting his AARP card.

First off, let me say that yes, I am a NY Yankee fan. Please don't vandalize my car for this. But I am one of those realistic fans. I don't claim to think the Yankees are the greatest just because I am some Guido from the Bronx (Sorry cousin Tony) who doesn't know any better. Actually, I think there should be a salary cap to restore some competitive balance to America's past time but that's a whole nother column.

So here the 3 possibilities that Mr. 5 Hour Workouts, 5 Days a Week has:

1. If Roger Clemens is truly innocent, then he should sue. After all, that is the American way. He should sue MLB and the Mitchell Report. All of his dirty laundry will be aired in court so he better only sue if he is 100% completely clean. After looking side by side at Roger in 1986 and in 2005, you tell me if he's clean:

Does anyone not on steroids grow like this?

2. Clemens should come out and deny the steroid allegations directly. He should hold a press conference where he answers questions and looks people in the eyes while he attempts to tell the truth. What a novel idea.

or Clemens can choose suggestion number 3. Admit you used steroids. The court of public opinion has already convicted him and his 7 Cy Young's are already taken. Man up and admit it, not Jason Giambi style though. Come out and tell us, "Yes, I used steroids and HGH." and don't give me a half apology like Andy Pettite did. You will only be insulting baseball fans intelligence.

I have one more suggestion for Clemens. If he is eventually found guilty, I say we take his nickname away too. I mean, after all the real "Rocket" is Chet Steadman and after watching Rookie of the Year, we all know he definitely was not on steroids.

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