Saturday, January 12, 2008

NFL Playoffs update

The Patriots and Jaguars divisional game just finished with the final score Patriots 913 - Jaguars 0.

OK, so I made that score up, but it sure felt that way. Tom Brady was more on then *NSYNC circa 1999. He carved up the Jaguars defense like he was playing Ohio State in a BCS Championship game.

The Patriots are making the rest of the NFL look silly. They are simply too good. And that last sentence comes from a man who hates everything about Boston, from the Red Sox to their clam chowda. However, I do have respect for them. They are easily the best pro team, any sport, that I have ever seen. They are to football what Mr. Belvedere was too butlering: perfection.

I am convinced that if you put the Patriots on the same field vs. a team full of Jesus' at every position, I'm afraid Mr. Christ would have no shot. Not against Tom Brady, illegitimate child bearer #1; Randy Moss, "I use marijuana"; and Captain Video, Bill Belichick.

As much as it pains me to say, the Patriots are like Brett Hart: The best their is, the best there was, and the best their ever will be. Oh yeah, I just went all WWE on your ass. or is it WWF?

Quick report on the other side of the playoffs. Brett Favre is pretty good. This much any football fan that hasn't been fully drunk for the last 15 years could tell you. But if you ask John Madden how good Brett Favre was in tonight's 42-20 victory over the Seahawks he would tell you he was amazing. In fact Madden is so far up Favre's ass he could tell you what Brett had for dinner tonight (for the record, the roast duck with the mango salsa).

Quick predictions for the two games on Sunday:

Peyton Manning audibles 362 times at the line of scrimmage just so he can watch himself on the Jumbotron in another crappy, useless commercial about a credit card. Colts win 31-24.

Eli Manning shows up to the game. Giants lose 42-21.

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