Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Santana traded and Headlines...

Wrong Santana Traded: Mets GM accidentally trades for Carlos

Flushing, New York - (AP News) The good news for Mets fans is they traded for a pitcher named Santana. The bad news is GM Omar Minaya traded for rock legend Carlos Santana instead of 2 time Cy Young winner Johan.

The Mets front office is citing Omar's love of mexican inspired acoustic guitar solo's as the top reason for acquiring the aging rockstar. They considered trading for Johan, who posseses the best changeup in the game, but instead settled on Carlos, who claims he once struck out Air Supply's bassist in 1982 on a nasty back door curve.

Although Santana turns 61 during the season, the Mets are hoping he can be a top of the rotation pitcher. If his recent workouts are any indication, the Mets are in trouble. His fastball was clocked in the low thirties as well as not knowing what a slider is.

Scott Boras, Santana's agent, could not be immediately reached for comment. He did, however, release a statement saying, "Mr. Santana is currently on the road touring with Fleetwood Mac. He will be in Florida when the picthers and catchers report to Spring Training in February. When asked about Santana's contract, Boras replied," It is incentive laden based upon the success of his collobartion with Mr. Met on the new Mets jingle. 'Meet Los Mets, Greet Los Mets, Step right up and Watch Santana get Lit.'

Santana will also take his signature sound of his PRS guitar that is connected to a Mu-Tron wah wah pedal and a T-Rex Replica delay pedal and perform the 7th Inning Stretch with Mr. Met on a nightly basis.

Headlines

Roger Clemens meets with Investigators, Denies ever pitching

Santana in a Mets uniform means he's going to start out strong and choke down the stretch

Tom Brady calls Curt Schilling to ask how to deal with playoff media talk about an ankle

David Stern demotes Knicks to D-League, Marbury still not best PG in league

Bruins apologize to city of Boston for not being good

Here go the French again trying to stop online betting of the French open. Maybe they can win one war?

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