Friday, February 29, 2008

The "Hoch's" Nest: Matt’s Four-Part Seahawks Extravaganza -- Part Four

The day is here! NFL Free Agency has begun and for a lot fans that means that the new NFL Season has started. This is a great day filled with sounds of the refresh button being clicked over and over and over and over and over and over and over…

But before I get ahead of myself, this is the Fourth installment of my Four-Part Seahawks Extravaganza where I look at the biggest off-season storylines that the Seahawks face this year.

The previous installments:
The "Hoch's" Nest: Matt’s Four-Part Seahawks Extravaganza -- Part Two (Mike Holmgren)
The "Hoch's" Nest: Matt’s Four-Part Seahawks Extravaganza -- Part Three (Leavings)


It started at Midnight EST this morning (so 9 last night on the West Coast) so I was able to hear some of the names that had already signed with other teams. Players like these:

Kelley Washington re-signs with the Patriots.
Justin Smiley leaves the Dolphins for the 49ers.
DeShaun Foster leaves the Panthers for the 49ers.
Allen Rossum leaves the Steelers for the 49ers.

I’m noticing a trend…

The 49ers are definitely bulking up, but what about their NFC West Rivals the Seattle Seahawks?

Let’s start with their needs:
Scouts Inc. says that they need (as of 2/14/08) help at Right Tackle, Defensive Tackle, Running Back and Offensive Guard.

As of today I would change those to: Defensive Tackle, Running Back, Tight End, Kicker and Line Depth.

This is all good and grand, but we have an extra wrench to throw in the works: the salary cap.

“They never have salary cap problems, Matt!”

That was before they franchised Trufant and signed all of those high priced players last season.

Danny O'Neil of the Seattle Times reports that the Seahawks are strapped for cash according to Team President Tim Ruskell.

"Some moves that we make the next few days will show you it's very tough," Ruskell said. "Some players may have to leave the roster."

Who could leave? That is frightening for those who are following the market. It is inflated again, which will cause some problems when it comes to signing replacements.

If they can sign Trufant to a contract they could free up some room to make signings of guys like Alge Crumpler (who starts the second day of his visit today) and possibly a Defensive Tackle.

The Draft is deep, and I am a firm believer that the Hawks will look to the Draft for a TE and RB. Dustin Keller (Made famous by Monday Shmonday: The Week in Review) has been speculated as the Seahawks’ first pick.

Even if they take a TE in the draft, they still need someone to play this season. You can expect that the rookie will contribute but, with the exception of few, he will not be a viable starter. RB can be picked up in the later rounds, much like Michael Turner.

What about the Free Agents, though?

All signs point to Josh Brown leaving. My personal feelings aside, this will open a gaping hole in the team and they will need to figure that out. Watch for them to draft someone in the later rounds.

They took care of their Guard problem with the signing of Mike Wahle and they locked up Sean Locklear at RT. So what now? Depth. They need to draft some players to start getting ready the decline of Walter Jones (inevitable due to age).

There is a lot of help needed on the Defensive Line, seeing as how Marcus Tubbs is always hurt, Rocky Bernard isn’t living up to his contract and Chuck Darby is aging quickly. I think they are all very good players for the system and that when Tubbs is in they can stop almost any running game, but that is the problem. He is NEVER in the game. Last year he counted $1.2M against the salary cap and it only goes up this year.

Don’t be surprised to see him become a casualty.

I would love to blow smoke and say they will go out and make a huge splash in the market, but I don’t see that happening. They WILL work on plugging the holes, and they will work on getting the pieces they need.

Don’t be surprised to see them do a lot of restructuring of contracts to try and make a lot of moves, but don’t be surprised if they don’t move too much.

They won’t be very active this year.

Possible restructures:
Deion Branch
Shaun Alexander
Nate Burleson
Tom Ashworth

Possible cuts:
Shaun Alexander
Marcus Tubbs
Jason Babin

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Top 13 Favorite Fat Athletes

Welcome to Obese America, where more is never enough.

Along with our money, our greed, our power, and our corruption, we Americans like everything larger than life. It is no different when it comes to our sports heroes. For some reason we relate to our gluttonous brethren and love to see overweight athletes succeed.

The following athletes don't know the meaning of low-fat food. They succumb to the temptation of all-you-can-eat buffets on a weekly or nightly basis. They don't count calories just stomach rolls. They don't order smalls, they super size it. But don't worry, they always order a Diet Coke. And some of them are even more shapelier in the chest area than Lindsey Lohan. But most of the athletes are very much in shape. After all, round is a shape.

So get your Whopper and chili cheese fries. Grab some onion rings and cookies. Forget about a slice of cheesecake, take the whole damn thing. But be sure to do some exercise afterwards or you will end up looking like once of these guys:

13. Antonio Alfonseca - 34 inch waist, 64 inch gut. That belt is working harder than Alfonseca has worked his entire career.

12. John Kruk - Poor guy. First he sported a mullet, then he lost a testicle, now he is included on my fat guy list. At least you weren't blamed for losing the '93 World Series John.

11, 10, 9. Cecil Fielder. Cecil gets three spots on this list to hold him and his offspring Prince. The best part is when Cecil first broke into the Bigs, he was actually thin. Then, he was introduced to the post game spread. Who else noticed Cecil out of breath after getting to second on a ground ruled double?

8. Babe Ruth - The Sultan of Swat indulged in women, booze, and food. After all that he is still considered by many as the best baseball player of all time. And he accomplished all that while pushing three bills.

7. Charles Barkley - Quick, whats higher Charles Barkley's weight or his gambling debt?

6. Miguel Cabrera - Barry Bonds chose to get bigger using the juice. Miguel Cabrera prefers to use the double-quarter pounder with cheese.

All together Tigers fan, My Third Baseman is so fat (How fat is he)....

5. David Wells - Brings new meaning to the term hefty lefty. Any pitcher that can consume enormous quantities of beer and the pitch perfect games will make the list every time.

4. Shaquille O'Neal - Has anyone ever come to training camp more out of shape year in and year out?

3. Livan Hernandez - One more cheeseburger and he would have to be airlifted from the dugout to the mound to pitch every inning.

2. Phil Mickelson - Kramer and Frank Costanza co-invented the Bro. Phil Mickelson invented the Man Boobs while playing golf. Match made in heaven. Maybe one Sunday I won't have to look at Phil walking the 18th while his chest flops about like jello.

1. John Daly - Daly smokes, gambles and divorces woman like they are going out of style. But those unconventional old habits have not led to much success. I guess Daly's motto shouldn't be "fat is in and practice is out".

BREAKING NEWS: Brett Favre is Retiring?

Every year at this time we get this:

Where will Randy Moss go?

Who will the Raider's take in the top-5

Will Brett Favre retire?

Well, it looks like the last questions may be getting answered soon:

According to the blog, has reported that the Future Hall of Fame QB will be retiring after 15 years...however the link to the story has been taken down from

UPDATE: just made an error...

Slow News Day

[As seen in Afraidofedhochuli]

News has been slow the last few days, and I am exhausted. It has been a long week causing some issues in my brain functions. Because of all of this, I have no really info to update you with or news that is different then the last few days.

What do I have for you? I have for you absolute gold. For you, and you alone I will be giving you the amazing joy and unlimited wonderment that are my thoughts on a few of the stories that are swirling around the sports world.

Let’s get the party moving, shall we?

NFL Free Agency
I love the off-season almost as much as the regular season. Watching as huge names like Jevon Kearse, Muhsin Muhammad and Ty Law are cut to meet salary cap needs, then watching as they sign on with new teams.

I also enjoy watching as teams make blunders in the Free Agency market looking for that piece that will fit but becomes the piece that sinks the team.

NBA Trades
This was great. As much as I don’t watch or really follow basketball, the one thing that I like about the NBA is the ability for teams to make blockbuster trades; the trades that you don’t see with very much regularity in any other sport.

You think that the Houston Rockets wish they had gotten in on the trade market?

LeBron James is the man
The youngest player to 10,000 points. The next MJ?

Well, here is my thinking. The image of the NBA is in the toilet and “King” James is a clean-cut good guy (without the reckless driving…) who takes the game back to the fun level of the MJ days.

Will he match MJ’s milestones and ability? I can’t be sure, but he will definitely match his persona.

Tiger wins 63rd Tour title at Match Play
Tiger is the best golfer ever, no doubt. I just wish that my Grandfather was around to see this.

Roger Clemens
Wow. Where to even begin on this quagmire of an issue. So I will do this from a different angle.

Do you remember when you were in High School and you knew the guy who’s Mom had the boob job and his Dad was in prison? Do you remember that? What did you do as a mean teenager?

You made fun of him. You made comments about wanting to see his Mom’s chest and asking if his Dad could hook you up. And he was upset. He may have turned to drugs.

So how do we think that Koby Clemens is feeling? Do you think that teammates are making fun of his Dad? Or about the boob job that his Mom had?

(* there are stories stating that she was comparing them with Jose Canseco’s (now) ex-wife’s at the infamous party that Clemens wasn’t at…)

Just pep up, Kobes. It is still better then being this guy's kid.

Hopefully some good news will hit and I can get you something more in depth soon. Until then…enjoy this:

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Is He a Hall of Famer? MLB Edition

Cooperstown, New York is hallowed grounds. A Pantheon of sorts if you will. But it is not known simply because it is close to the original site of Woodstock but because it is home to the greatest baseball personnel who have ever lived.

Currently enshrined in the National Baseball Hall of Fame are 286 players, managers, umpires, builders, executives, and organizers. However, to reach such baseball immortality one has to be the best of the best, not just a mediocre all-star (There is nothing wrong with that Jason Varitek).

Of course their are some all-time great players who are currently not enshrined(Andre Dawson) and some mediocre players (Bill Mazerowski) that are. Some outfielders in the HOF couldn't carry Dawson's lead doughnut. But I digress.

There are always going to be players inducted into the Hall. Who of today's current players would that include?

Let's find out, as it's again time to play everyone's favorite little game: "Is he a Hall of Famer?"

(*As always, to make the debate more interesting, I am omitting players that almost certainly will make the Hall of Fame barring something catastrophic happening to their career. Active players such as Ken Griffey, Jr., Randy Johnson, Alex Rodriguez, and Greg Maddux just to name a few).

Today's MLB edition will be about three players: Jim Thome, John Smoltz, Craig Biggio. (I know Biggio just retired but his is a good argument).

Jim Thome
6'4", 220 lbs, 1B, Illinois Central College
Nicknames: Mr. High Socks, The Thomenator
13th round draft pick of the 1989 amateur draft (Cleveland Indians)

Career Averages: .281 avg, 507 HR, 1398 RBI, 18 SB
-5 time All-Star
-2002 Roberto Clemente Award
-2004 Lou Gehrig Award
-Member of 500 Home Run Club (22nd all-time)
-1996 Silver Slugger Award (3B)
-19th on career walk list (1459)
-16th on career slugging percentage list (.565)

Argument Against
Thome has never placed higher than 4th in MVP balloting in a single season. He has the ability to punish right handed pitchers but has only hit .240 for his career against lefties. He is a terribly slow base runner and doesn't have many extra base hits (when you take out the home runs). Thome has never finished in the top 5 in runs scored in a season. He ranks 3rd on the all time strikeout list with 2,043.

Comparison to Current Hall of Famer
Harmon Killebrew
Both played first base and had tons of raw power. Thome could have almost identical career number to Killebrew once he retires. Killebrew hit .256 with 573 hr and 1584 rbi's. Killebrew also had 8 career 40+ home run seasons. Thome has 6. Thome also has a higher career slugging percentage at .565 compared to .509 for Killebrew.

Final Verdict
Just because Thome has reached the once exclusive 500 Home Run club does not automatically guarantee him a spot in Cooperstown. In fact, he still has a lot of work left to do. He needs to finish with around 575-600 home runs and at least 1600 RBI to get some serious consideration. After all, if you take away his ability to hit home runs against righties (he has hit 82% of his HR's against right handers) he is just an average Joe without speed and a adequate glove. He reminds me of Rafael Palmiero, a very solid player who plays long enough to compile gaudy stats but never really dominated. NOT IN.

John Smoltz
6'3", 210lbs, P, Waverly High School (Michigan)
Nickname: Smoltzie
22nd round draft pick of the 1985 amateur draft (Detroit Tigers)

Career Averages: 207-145, 3.26 ERA, 154 saves, 2975 K's
-8 time All-Star
-NLCS MVP (1992)
-NL Cy Young Award Winner (1996)
-Silver Slugger Award Winner for Pitcher (1997)
-National League Rolaids Relief Man of the Year Award winner (2002)
-Only pitcher to compile 200 wins and 150 saves
-Member of 1995 World Series Champion Atlanta Braves
-16th on career strikeout list (2975)
-1st on career postseason wins list (15) and postseason strikeouts list (194)
-Tied for 60th on career saves list (154) despite only being a closer for 3 seasons

Argument Against
Only won 20 games as a starter once. Smoltz ranks 97th on the career wins list because of the three seasons in which he was a closer. Ranks 82nd on the career WHIP list at 1.1696.

Comparison to Current Hall of Famer
Dennis Eckersley
Eckersley and Smoltz are the only two pitchers to have had both a 20-win season and a 50-save season. Smoltz has a 3.26 career era, Eckersley has a 3.50. Both have 1 Cy Young Award and both have won over 150 games as a starter. Both pitchers were dominating closers. Smoltz averaged 48 saves in his 3 seasons as a closer. Eckersley struck out 458 while walking just 51 in a six year span as a closer.

Final Verdict
Smoltz will have taken a unique path to Cooperstown as he switched positions midway through his career. But one thing that it proved was his ability to dominant hitters. He has featured a 4 seam fastball, power slider, and a 90 mph split finger that is his out pitch. His stats aren't the most gaudy but proven that he can pitch well in the postseason when the pressure is at its highest. He also has finished in the top 7 in Cy Young voting 5 times which proves his dominant ability. And he accomplished all this in the Steroid Era. IN.

Craig Biggio
5'11", 180lbs, C/2B/CF, Seton Hall University
Nicknames: Pigpen
1st round draft pick of the 1987 amateur draft (Houston Astros)

Career Averages: .281 avg, 291 HR, 1175 RBI, 414 SB
-7 time all-star
-1997 Branch Rickey Award
-2005 Hutch Award
-2007 Roberto Clemente Award
-20th on all-time hits list (3060)
-4 time Gold Glove Award Winner (2B)
-5 time Silver Slugger Award Winner
-5th on all-time doubles list (668)
-2nd on all-time hit by pitch list (285)
-28th in career total bases (4711)
-25th in career extra base hits (1014)
-23rd player ever to have at least 10,000 at bats.
-Became the first player in baseball history not to hit into a single double play while playing an entire 162 game season (1997).
-In 1998, became the second player to have 50 stolen bases and 50 doubles in the same season (Tris Speaker).

Argument Against
Biggio never hit more than 26 home runs in a season. Remember he did play in the Steroid Era so even though he predominantly a second baseman, this is not a very high amount. Biggio only finished in the top 10 in MVP balloting in a season 3 times. This proves he never had a completely dominating season. One could argue that he isn't a great pure hitter because his 3,060 hits came in over 10,000 at bats leading to a very average .281 batting average. Played the latter half of his career in one the most hitter friendly ballparks (Minute Maid Field).

Comparison to Current Hall of Famer
Robin Yount
Both played their entire career for the same organization. Both excelled at a middle infield position and then switched to center field. Yount is 26th and Biggio is 27th on all time doubles list. Both players had about 11,000 at bats, batted in the .280s and had over 250 home runs. Biggio had more stolen bases (414) compared to Yount's 271 however Yount had more career RBI's.

Final Verdict
Biggio is the only player in the history of baseball with 3000 hits, 600 doubles, 400 stolen bases, and 250 home runs. Had he had 9 more home runs he would have only been the second player ever to have 3000 hits, 300 home runs, and 300 stolen bases. Willie Mays is the other. Pretty good company if you ask me. IN.

some stats provided by

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Even NFL Teams Can Dream

[As seen in Afraidofedhochuli]

Bob Glauber (Best name ever!) is a doofus. Okay, I take that back.

Bob Glauber (Fantastic!) is delusional. That sounds better.

Bob wrote in an article in Newsday on Saturday that the Giants are eyeing two top cornerbacks in the Free Agent crop. I know that this “supposedly” came from the Giants…but did he need to keep the fantasy alive?

Those players:
- DeAngelo Hall: Hall was told that Atlanta would seek a trade. He then told reporters that he would not return to the Falcons.

- Marcus Trufant: ‘Tru is the Seahawks’ Franchise player…

Okay, so Hall makes sense. He is young, talented and on his way out of town. But Trufant??? This is what he said:

“According to a league source familiar with the Giants' situation, Trufant is on their radar as a potential acquisition once the trading period begins next Friday. Seattle has designated Trufant as their "franchise" player, meaning Seattle has virtually exclusive negotiating rights with him for the 2008 season. But that does not preclude them from making a trade.”

HA! I am literally laughing out loud. Does Bob Glauber (love it) know what it would take? Can you say Brandon Jacobs, Osi Umenyiora and Plaxico Burress? That is the type of thing you would need to dangle in front of them.

What about signing him? Well that will cost you a lot of money (seeing as how the Hawks are already paying him over $9M this year) and two 1st-round draft picks.

Is that plausible? I don’t know, but it would be stupid.

So, Mr. Bob Glauber (brilliant) maybe you should let the Giants know that they are living in a fantasy world.

Is he a Hall of Famer? NBA Edition

Patrick Ewing, Hakeem Olajuwon, and Pat Riley highlight an elite group that has been placed on the final ballot for enshrinement into the Basketball Hall of Fame. While anyone that remotely follows the NBA can tell you that those three belong in the Hall, what current players may someday have a plaque in Springfield?

Let's find out as it's time to play everyone's favorite little game*, Is he a Hall of Famer?

(*As always, to make the debate more interesting, I am ommitting players that almost certainly will make the Hall of Fame barring something catostrophic happening to their career. Active players such as Tim Duncan, Shaquille O'Neal, Allen Iverson, Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki, and Jason Kidd).

Today's edition will be about three players: Vince Carter, Tracy McGrady, and Rasheed Wallace.

Vince Carter
6'7 215 lbs, G/F, University of North Carolina
Nicknames: Vinsanity, Air Canada, Half-Man/Half-Amazing, Invinceable
5th pick of the 1998 NBA Draft (Golden State)

Career Averages: 23.9 ppg, 5.5 rpg, 4.2 apg, 1.3 spg
8 time NBA All-Star
2 time All-NBA (Second Team 1999, Third Team 2000)
2000 Slam Dunk Champion
1999 NBA All-Rookie First Team
1999 NBA Rookie of the Year
83rd on NBA career scoring list (16,028)
17th on NBA career points per game list (23.85)
44th on NBA career 3 point field goals made (1003)
Co-holds NBA playoff record for most three-point field goals made in one game with 9
Member 0f 2000 USA Olympic team (Won Gold medal)

Argument Against
Out of the three candidates today, Carter has the best shot at the Hall. He has all the talent of a hall of famer, but none of the heart, competitiveness, leadership or mental toughness which one would expect from one. That is why Vince Carter as a Hall of Famer is such an interesting debate. Would a Hall of Famer go get his degree on the very night right before the biggest playoff game of his career (up until that point)? Would a HOFer yell out plays to the opposing team like Carter was alledgely doing as a Raptor against the Sonics in 2004 because he felt the organization didn't surround him with enough talent? Would his current team say the following about him, "Inside and outside the organization, people have been stunned at how willing Carter has been to mail-in games. Rod Thorn defended Carter's larger body of work in Jersey but acknowledged an "inconsistency" this season." Durability is also a question mark as it led some people to call him Half-Man/Half-Season (although he has averaged 67 games played per season). He only finished in the top 10 of MVP voting once (1999-00).

Comparison to Current Hall of Famer
Dominique Wilkens
The Human Highlight Film and Vince Carter are perhaps the two best dunkers in NBA history (my apologies to Connie Hawkins, Dr. J, and Elgin Baylor). Wilkens was a 9 time All-Star, All-NBA First Team once in 1986, and All-Rookie Team in 1983. Had 11 consecutive seasons in which he averaged more than 20 points per game (Carter currently has 9).

Final Verdict
Vince Carter's numbers will be good enough to get him inducted. However, his plaque will appear in the WNBA section.

Tracy McGrady
6'8 210lbs, G/F, Mount Zion Christian Academy
Nickname: T-Mac
9th pick of the 1997 NBA Draft (Toronto)

Career Averages: 22.4 ppg, 6.3 rpg, 4.6 apg, 1.4 spg
7 time NBA All-Star
2000-01 NBA Most Improved Player
6 time All-NBA (First Team in 2002, 2003)
2 time NBA Scoring Champion (2003 youngest player ever to win w/ 32.4, 2004)
23rd on NBA career points per game list (22.4)
81st on NBA career scoring list (16,197)
Shares NBA record for most three-point field goals made in one half with 8
44 career games with at least 40+ points
ranked #75 on SLAM Magazine's Top 75 NBA Players of All Time in 2003

Argument Against
Between playoff failure and injuries, T-Mac has never really reached his full potential on the big stage. He has all the ability and athleticism to make difficult play looks easy but frowns when things arent going his way. Sometimes he looks like he is not playing very hard.

Comparison to Current Hall of Famer
George Gervin
The Iceman is one of only 3 players to win 4 or more scoring titles (T-Mac has 2). Both were All-NBA First Team at least twice. Both play a similar, creative style of basketball. The finger roll master was silky smooth and McGrady has the ability to use the pump fake and create his own shot off the screen.

Final Verdict
Suprisingly, McGrady isn't that far away from being in the serious discussion as a future Hall of Famer. Who ever thought that was possible when McGrady was averaging less than 10 points per game off the bench in his first two seasons in Toronto?

Rasheed Wallace
6'11 230lbs, F/C University of North Carolina
Nickname: Sheed
4th pick of the 1995 NBA Draft (Washington)

Career Averages: 15.3 ppg, 6.9 rpg, 1.9 apg, 1.4 blocks/pg
4 time NBA All-Star
2nd Team All-Rookie (1995-96)
NBA Champion (2004)

Argument Against
Rasheed’s on-court temper tantrums and controversial comments in the media have always gotten more attention than his game (He holds the NBA record for most technical fouls in one season: 44). While his individual abilities are respected throughout the NBA, he doesn’t have much hardware to show for it; zero All-Defensive Team selections and not even an All-NBA third team nod. Averaging only 15.3 ppg and under 7 rpg will hurt a big man.

Comparison to Current Hall of Famer
No one. The closest player could be Nate Thurmond but Thurmond averaged 15.o ppg and 15 rpg. Wallace only averages 15.3 ppg and 6.9 rpg. Although they played in completely different era's, both were over 6'10 and shot around .45% for their careers.

Final Verdict
Even though Wallace revolutionized the power forward position (along with guys like Webber, Garnett and Nowitzki) he has never been the star of a team. While he has been an intrical part of the defining team of the decade in the East, he has yet to finish any season in the top 10 of any major statistical category. He is currently on the outside of Springfield looking in.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Monday Shmonday: The Week in Review

[As seen in Afraidofedhochuli]

The average fans believe that the NFL season is over when the final whistle blows at the Super Bowl. But unlike Bill Belichick the NFL doesn’t leave the field.

A recent NFL commercial starring Cleveland Browns WR Braylon Edwards said it best: “The NFL is 13 months a year; 14 on a leap-year”. (Don’t worry; he laughed so he knew that it wasn’t exactly…umm…smart…)

What is your point, Matt?

Well, this weekend we had the combine, which for all intents and purposes is boring. Yet, I was still glued to it. These are guys that are trying to make it. These are guys that are doing everything they can do to make the next level. This is when the passion shows, and isn’t that what fans love?

There were some great stats posted.

In the 40-Yard Dash:
1. RB Chris Johnson, East Carolina -- 4.24

2. RB Darren McFadden, Arkansas -- 4.33

3. WR DeSean Jackson, California -- 4.35

4.24? Wow. That guy will be drafted.

I also liked watching TE Dustin Keller who (while only measuring in at 6-foot 2-inches) put up a whopping 38” vertical jump. By my calculations (by looking at it is second only to WR Keenan Burton who registered a 38.5”.

Speaking of Keller he impressed everyone with a 4.53 second 40-Yard Dash and 26-reps of 225-lbs, second only to Craig Stevens among TEs. He came across as one of the better TEs at the combine, and seeing as how Fred Davis wasn’t there, he is moving up the draft board.

But that is what the Combine is for, huh?

The Combine aside, there have been a lot of interesting NFL transactions over the last week.

Per’s “transactions” section.

Monday, February 18, 2008
Chicago Bears: Signed defensive end Alex Brown to a two-year contract extension; release wide receiver Muhsin Muhammad; declined to exercise the contract option on defensive tackle Darwin Walker.
- That is too bad, seeing as how Muhammad has been a major part of their offense the last few years. But, he is old and it was time to move on.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008
San Francisco 49ers: Waived linebacker Derek Smith.
- I like Smith. I don’t like that he had to go, but as you age you lose your “oomph”. Add to that the amazing play of Patrick Willis last year and you have a recipe for the waiver wire.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Green Bay Packers: Released tight end Bubba Franks.
- The end of an era. I hope that he ends up somewhere.

Houston Texans: Released linebacker Shawn Barber, center Mike Flanagan and tight end Jeb Putzier; waived center Drew Hodgdon.
- Flanagan? Wasn’t he still productive? And then they cut another center? Good luck with that.

Thursday, February 21, 2008
Carolina Panthers: Released running back DeShaun Foster.
- Rumblings are that The Bucs want him.

Arizona Cardinals: Released safety Terrence Holt, tackle Oliver Ross and defensive end Chris Cooper.
- This a cap issue? Because really, two starters?

Cleveland Browns: Signed running back Jamal Lewis to a three-year contract extension through the 2010 season.
- I like this. He is still productive and it is a short enough contract that if he goes downhill they don’t have to eat a lot of it.

Saturday, February 23, 2008
Chicago Bears: Agreed to terms with quarterback Rex Grossman on a one-year contract.
- Is this sadistic or masochistic? Are they doing it because they like to hurt themselves or the fans? Because, really?

Sunday, February 24, 2008
San Diego Chargers: Agreed to terms with linebacker Derek Smith on a two-year contract.
- Woohoo! I knew he would land on his feet.

Chicago Bears: Agreed to terms with tight end Desmond Clark on a two-year contract extension through 2010.
- Did they not notice that it was time to start cutting old TEs? Especially if your first round pick in 2007 was a TE? Goes back to my question about Grossman. These guys are just plain silly.

2008 New York Mets Preview

The 2008 New York Mets are looking to put last season's historic collapse of blowing a 7 game lead with 17 games remaining behind them. With the addition of 2 time Cy Young Award winner Johan Santana to the Mets rotation they are well on their way.

Such an improvement to the Mets already suspect pitching staff is welcome by all Mets players and fans. It even prompted normally quiet CF Carlos Beltran to predict, "I have no doubt that we're going to win in our division."

The Mets had the best offseason in the NL East thanks to GM Omar Minaya's ability to trade for Santana without breaking up the lineup or parting ways with the Mets number 1 prospect, Fernando Martinez. The Mets also acquired RF Ryan Church and C Brian Schneider from the Nationals. Johan was the major addition, but the guys acquired for Lastings Milledge will have key roles. Church has good gap power and is a decent option in right field. Schneider hit just .235 last season but is a top notch defensive catcher.

The front-line players are talented, but they're aging and injuries could be a factor. If so, the Mets are in trouble. They have no quality backup for 1B Carlos Delgado, and their outfield depth -- Endy Chavez and Angel Pagan are the backups -- is shaky. That's a big concern given LF Moises Alou's injury history and Ryan Church's struggles against lefties.

Pedro Martinez had success in the five games he started in 2007, going 3-1 with a 2.57 ERA, and there's no reason to believe that Martinez can't put up those numbers over the course of a whole season if he can stay healthy. Middle of the roation guys, John Maine and Oliver Perez, put up nearly identical numbers in 2007, both going 15-10 with ERAs of 3.91 and 3.56, respectively. Orlando Hernandez gives the Mets a nice veteran presence at the back end of the rotation, but, like Martinez, El Duque is injury-prone.

Getting to Closer Billy Wagner will be the Mets number one concern. While Wagner is lights out in the ninth, only blowing 5 save opportunities in 2007, the 8th inning will be the difference maker. Righties Duaner Sanchez and Aaron Hielman will compete for the 8th with lefty Pedro Feliciano. Jorge Sosa is a solid long reliever but likely won't see time in the later innings. Joe Smith should improve off the good rookie season he had in 2007 and gives manager Willie Randolph an extra option for a late-inning matchup as his funky delivery makes him a perfect candidate to get out exclusively righties.

The Mets first four batters - Jose Reyes, Louis Castillo, David Wright, and Carlos Beltran - are a Manager's dream. But after them, Willie Randolph's nightmares emerge. A declining Carlos Delgado, who has seem his number drop significantly over the past 2 seasons (batting average fell from .301 to .258, home runs from 33 to 24) will bat 5th. He will turn 36 this season. Moises Alou batted .349 in 87 games last season but he turns 42 this season. He can't stay off the disabled list and won't be expected to bat .349 for an entire season. The Mets do have one of the games best pinch hitters in Marlon Anderson who is tied for the NL record with 17 pinch hits in one season.

2008 is the last season for antiquated Shea Stadium, which opend in 1964. On opening day 2009, the Mets will move into the $610 million Citi Field in Willits Point, Queens.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Fixing the Big East and Big 11

Not naming any names, (I'm looking at you Big East and Big 11) but some conferences are in desperate need of realignment or tweaking. I haven't seen this much disorganization since Matt Millen attempted to run the Lions.

Wait, strike that.

But I am here to clean up every commissioner's mess. Whether you league has too many teams or odd scheduling, I am here to solve your problems. Just call me the Dr. Phil of fixing leagues.

Wait, strike that also.

Big East Basketball

Currently in the Big East, there are 16 teams. Yet only 12 teams make the Big East Tournament. That makes no sense. In 2009, the Big East Tournament will expand and invite all 16 teams to the Madison Square Garden. Ok so that is starting to make a little more sense. But what happens if the 16 seed catches fire and wins the Big East Tournament taking a sure bid away from a league member that had an above .500 regular season win percentage. Ok so this idea doesn't sound that good either. In the current setup, each of the 16 teams does not play each other twice, once on the road and once at home. That makes no sense. How can you crown a true champion without playing everyone the same amount of time?

I have a better idea. Split the Big East up into two divisions, an East and a West. Have 8 teams in each division and they will get to play everyone in their division once at home and once on the road for competitive balance. Then they will play the other division once, alternating home and road year by year. This creates 22 regular season Big East games. This will also create rivalries between schools who get to host each other and go on the road every year against the same teams.

As far as the Big East Tournament goes, you will then take the top 4 teams out of the East and top 4 out of the West and send them to the Garden to fight for the title. How they would be seeded is the East 1 vs West 4, East 2 vs West 3, East 3 vs West 2, and East 4 vs West 1.

Now to split the teams in the Big East. Simple. In the East (for geographical reasons and to keep existing rivalries in place) will be: Georgetown, Connecticut, Syracuse, Villanova, Seton Hall, Providence, St. Johns, and Rutgers. In the West will be: Louisville, Notre Dame, Marquette, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, West Virginia, DePaul, and for the last team this is where its get interesting. I propose the Big East should get rid of South Florida and give them back to Conference USA. Memphis then comes in as the 8th and final spot int he Big East. This eases travel problems of teams having to go to Tampa to play USF. It will also create a USF vs UCF rivalry in C-USA. In terms of football, this works as well because Memphis brings a solid program to the Big East to replace USF. Just ask D'Angelo Williams.

Just imagine the Big East Tournament this year.

Big Ten

The Big Ten is a little different than the Big East because Football matters more in the Big Ten than it does in the Big East. So taking that into consideration, I came up with the following as ways to improve the Big Ten.

First and foremost, add a school. There are 11 teams in the Big 10. Go figure. The obvious choice to be added is Notre Dame since they are a proud football school and not affliated with a conference. But that won't work because Notre Dame has an exclusive TV contract (since 1991)with NBC. They would have to get out of that and take a back seat on the Big Ten Network. Not going to happen because of the almighty dollar. I suggest the Big Ten steal Iowa State from the Big 12 (The Big 12 can replace them with Colorado State from the Mountain West who have an odd number of 9 teams and would create a nice Colorado-Colorado State rivalry).

The Big Ten would need a new name and since Big 12 is already taken, I propose Big North Conference since most teams are in the northern section of the midwest. According to BCS rules, since there are now going to be 12 teams, this will allow for a conference championship game. I do not propose splitting up these 12 teams in 2divisions because you could get a bad team as a representative in the championship game (like in 2002 when Colorado was the "2nd" best team in the Big 12 at 9-5). I do propose the top teams record wise after the completion of the regular season meet for the title.

For basketball, you seed them all 1-12 and play a single elimination tournament for the championship. Also in basketball, the schedule can be fixed. With the addition of ISU, this makes traveling more simple. First, you have games on Thursdays and Saturdays. Each school gets a partner. Here they are: Iowa and Iowa State, Purdue and Indiana, Michigan and Michigan State, Wisconsin and Minnesota, and Ohio State and Penn State, and finally Northwestern and Illinios. A team goes on the road they will go play Iowa and Iowa State in the same week. Then they will travel to Michigan to play both Michigan schools. This creates easy travel and ultimately will be less expensive for the schools. Each school plays each other twice for a total of 22 Big North Conference games.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

MLB Power Rankings

Ahh, the smell of fresh cut grass. The sounds of ball meeting bat. "I got it" and "Yours" being heard all around the fields. Needles meeting butts in a last ditch effort to get an performance enhancing edge.

Wait, scratch that last one.

But it's that time of year again. The winter is fleeting and long, sunny days are upon us. Get out your peanuts and crackerjacks. The stench of sweat and the stickiness of pine tar is all around. The glisten of sun reminds us of the beginning of the dog days of summer. So dust off your glove, shine your cleats, and don't throw out your arm. Our National Pastime is back.

It is still only the first week of pitchers and cathers reporting to camp but it is never to early to rank all 30 MLB teams. Quick, get your shot of B12 and lie to Congress. Tell them you misremembered or your wife did it. Hell, tell them you are not here to talk about the past. Do whatever you have to do because the first spring training games are just days away and we all would like to know which teams are studs and which teams are duds.

1. Boston Red Sox
I don't know about you but I am excited for the return of Curt Schilling's blog. I have missed his whining all winter long. But just wait until he gets replaced in the rotation by Clay Bucholz midseason. In a summer of presidential elections, Curt will become our favorite loud mouth Republican.

2. Detroit Tigers
Rumor is Miguel Cabrera is looking for a contract extension to stay in Detroit. Taco and burito stand owners around Detroit are rejoicing.

3. New York Mets
The historic yet hideous Shea Stadium is in its final year of existence. But rest assure Mets fans, new Citi Field will be right next door. This way you can still feel like "you're riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids" when your on the 7 train.

Evidently, the nickname of Orlando Hernandez"El Duque" has nothing to do with his being a former Spanish Duke (he's not) but was a nickname that his teammates gave to his Anaconda-size pen!s. So if the Mets make the World Series and Hernandez gets to pitch, that will be me giggling every time Joe Buck says, "El Duque's slinging heat tonight."

4. New York Yankees
There was a bus recently driving into the Yankees complex in Tampa. It showed up 2 hours late for the first day of spring training. Apparently the bus couldn't move any faster than 5 mph because Roger Clemens was busy throwing more people under it.

5. Cleveland Indians
The Indians have always been lovable losers. From the Major League movie trio to being one Jose Mesa pitch away from a World Series title in 1997, Cleveland has never won. But now they have gone and pissed everyone off. They have changed Jacobs Field to Progressive Field. This makes me long for the days of Pedro Cerrano and Jobu. In an related move the Indians are trying to bring back RF Pedro Cerrano but word is his State Farm Insurance won't cover him his disgraceful cuts at curveballs.

6. Philadelphia Phillies
Dear City of Philadelphia,
When your Phillies blow a couple game lead to the Mets late in the summer we highly encourage the throwing of batteries at said players. In fact, we also encourage the booing of any injured player. Ahh, that's better. Now at least some normalcy will be back in Philadelphia this summer instead of last year's winning of a divison title.

7. Los Angeles Angels
If only I could be Gary Matthews, Jr. I'd make obcsene amounts of money despite low production and ample time on the bench. And for those new to baseball Angels infielder Chone Figgins first name is apparently pronounced "Shawn". Go figure.

8. Chicago Cubs
Cubs fans have a reason to be excited this year. The team sign that curse word Fukodome to play RF and they even made the playoffs last year. But closer Ryan Dempster has predicted the Cubs will end their 100 year draught and finally win the World Series. In related news, Dempster has been known to lie and Cubs fans have been known to be suckers if they believe him.

9. Seattle Mariners
Richie Sexson told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer that fans shouldn't boo his performance. But the M's are paying him $15.5 million and he only bats .205. Just my advice but I wouldn't exactly pick that battle Richie. Just saying.

10. Colorado Rockies
I remember when the Colorado Rockies were first invented. I was in middle school. They had these new cool looking uniforms: black and purple. They had a sweet new ballpark, Coors Field and the Blake Street Bombers who hit a ton of homeruns. They were pimp. But they always lacked one thing: pitching. 15 years later that has not changed. They are the defending National League Champions but people on the east coast still think of this team as a triple-a team. Quick prediction. The Rockies will repeat as NL Champions and Ron Paul will win the presidency.

11. Los Angeles Dodgers
It feels wierd to see Joe Torre in Dodger blue. Wait, scratch that. We are all used to seeing old, overweight managers with large guts hanging over their belt buckle in a Dodger uniform. See: Lasorda, Tommy.

12. Toronto Blue Jays
If you are Blue Jays GM JP Ricardi, What do you do with one aging, over the hill, often injured, former all star third baseman (Troy Glaus)? Easy. Trade him away from an aging, over the hill, often injured, former all star third baseban (Scott Rolen).

13. Arizona Diamondbacks
With the Human Crash Test Dummy patrolling left field for the Snakes, you never know what kind of crazy play Eric Byrnes may make. He is to the Dbacks what Chris Farley was to comedy: All out recklessness. He will get hurt. He will run someone over. He will dive head first into a wall. Why aren't there more players like this?

14. San Diego Padres
And Greg Maddux is back for his 67th season. And to celebrate the Pads signed Jim Edmonds in the offseason. They don't call the the Fathers for nothing.

15. Atlanta Braves
The Braves two top pitchers are 41 and 42 years old. So what does Bobby Cox do, bring in Mike Hampton you say? Absolutely. There is only one way to sure up an aging pitching rotation. Bring in the youthful, never injured, and inexpensive Mike Hampton. And Bobby Cox had the nerve to say that Hampton may be a front of the rotation pitcher after only throwing one inning in the Mexican League last year. Good luck with that Atl.

16. Milwaukee Brewers
The Brewers had a remarkable 2007 before fading late and missing the playoffs. Ben Sheets only tossed 141 innings and Rickie Weeks was mostly injured. But don't fear Brewer fans. Eric Gagne has been added. If thats not bad enough, then just go to Miller Park, drink yourself silly, and watch the wiener race during the middle of the fifth. Well worth the price of admission.

17. St. Louis Cardinals
Now batting, Albert Pujols (pronounced Poo Holes). #5? Shouldn't Poo Holes be #2? But seriously, if you don't watch baseball (you are probably a communist), you've probably never heard of Poo Holes. That's a shame because he is a class act.

(by baseball standards a class act is a guy who hasn't beaten his wife or been charged with any felonies as of the writing of this column).

18. Chicago White Sox
Ozzie Guillen starts the year on the &$%#@ hot seat. He says his team can't hit for %^&$ and that his pitching staff $%^#*@ stinks. The umpires miss every god %^&$ call and his bullpen %^$&@ so much that he constantly has to $%^#*@ curse them off. It's so nice to have Ozzie back.

19. Minnesota Twins
The Twins failed to get NYM outfield prospect Fernando Martinez in their trade for Johan Santana. The reason the Twins gave was that Martinez lack superior vision in the outfield to get a good jump on the ball. That's funny, that never stopped Kirby Puckett. What? Too soon?

20. Cincinnati Reds
It's a good thing new Reds Manager Dusty Baker is used to losing. With players like Scott Hatteberg and David Ross in the everyday lineup, Pete Rose would certainly place a grand on the visiting team.

21. Houston Astros
The Astros traded for veteran Miguel Tejada in the offseason. He will play a big part in developing some of the Astros younger middle infielders. He will be able to offer tips on fielding, throwing, and inserting.

22. Tampa Bay Rays
This year, Tampa Bay has shortened their name from the Devil Rays to the Rays. They have changed logos from a dark green devil ray to a blue and yellow sunburst/baseball diamond. Unfortunately, the only thing not to change for the better is their same mediocre lineup as last year.

In a related story, Spiderman will be sponsoring the new Rays stadium.

23. Oakland Atheltics
Billy Beane believes in moneyball and not signing players to large contracts. Hence the reasons he has let go of Miguel Tejada, Jason Giambi, Mark Mulder, Tim Hudson, etc. Unfortunately he now also believes in a tried and true Yankee philosophy because he has recently signed old timers Keith Foulke and Mike Sweeney.

24. Washington Nationals
Quick, name 2 Washington National players? Exactly.

25. San Franscico Giants
Now that Barry Bonds and his Head are gone from the SF clubhouse, there will be much more room for players, coaches, and trainers to operate. Also, the SF media will not have to "enter with caution" like they have had to in the last few years for fear of the wrathe of Bonds. In a related story, since Bonds is gone Pedro Gomez has been forced to retire.

26. Texas Rangers
I would ordinarally not put Walker Texas Ranger this low at 26, but he made no good offseason moves and I just think that the cancellation of his show has set him back years. That and the fact that the Rangers top 3 starters boast an average 5.79 ERA last season.

27. Kansas City Royals
Kansas City picked 27th? A whole 3 spots in front of last place. Congratulations KC, you are definately moving up in the world.

28. Pittsburgh Pirates
The Pirates are a proud franchise. Honus Wagner, Bill Mazerowski, Roberto Clemente, and Willie Stargell are all Hall of Famers. The 1979 "We are Family" Pirates are legendary. But when your current day starting lineup includes Nyjer Morgan and Jose Bautista, we all know the sad truth in Pittsburgh: They have been rebuilding since '95.

29. Baltimore Orioles
Trade away your most profilic offensive player. Check. Trade away your young, lefty, ace pitcher. Check. Still have annoyingly, stingy owner. Check. Bring in star studded prospect and quickly make him get rid of his facial hair because of a club rule. Check. Alienate your fan base. Check. Have thousands of empty seats at perhaps the best ballpark in the game. Check. Anyone else you want to piss, Peter Angelos?

30. Florida Marlins
See above.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

2008 New York Yankees Preview

With a record payroll of $218 million, the 2008 New York Yankees have high hopes of bringing a 27th World Championship to the Bronx. But with high hopes comes great expectations and added pressure.

The Yankees are no strangers to playing under pressure. After all, New York is the media capital of the world. But how will this year's collection of veterans, rookies, All-Stars, and new coaches fair in trying to capture their first World Series title since 2000?

2008 will be the first season for manager Joe Giradi. He must step beyond the image of Joe Torre (12 playoff appearances, six pennants, four world championships in 12 seasons) and establish his voice while managing some veteran ex-teammates and tender, young, valuable arms. He was the NL Manager of the Year in his one prior season, with the 2006 Marlins, where he lost the philosophical battle about how to direct a team. The Yankees have a better structure in place and Giradi should fit in nicely as long as new owner Hank Steinbrenner does not interfere.

The Yankees should have no problem scoring runs as their lineup boasts All-Stars at almost every position. While their offense looks solid with reigning MVP Alex Rodriguez in the middle, the Yankees need Johnny Damon to stay healthy all season and return to being one of the game's top lead off men. It's hard to believe that a potential .300/30-homer hitter could be projected to bat eighth, but Robinson Cano might be able to climb to sixth or seventh this year. With Damon, Bobby Abreu, Hideki Matsui, Jason Giambi and Cano, this is a heavily left-handed dominant lineup, susceptible to unfavorable late inning relief matchups.

One position that is up for grabs in spring training is the first basemen's job. The Yankees have Giambi, Shelly Duncan, Morgan Ensberg competing among others. Wilson Betemit and Chris Woodward will also compete for time at first base, though Betemit carries value as a switch-hitting middle infielder. With Giambi slated to play the field this year, Damon will move to left to hide his week throwing arm, Melky Cabrera will start in center, and Matsui will be relegated to the DH while his rehabs his knee after arthroscopic surgery in November.

The Yankees starting pitching staff comes into spring training with the most question marks. However, unlike past years, the Yankees will rely on two rookies to round out their staff, RHPs Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy. Lefty Andy Pettite and Chien Ming Wang will anchor the staff, but neither are true aces. Veteran Mike Mussina will be the fifth starter, however, Joba Chamberlain may compete with him midseason after Chamberlain starts the year in the bullpen.

The bullpen is another point of concern. Ace closer Mariano Rivera is back but his set up man has not been chosen. Kyle Farnsworth is prone to giving up homeruns and changeup specialist Edwar Ramirez is young and unproven. Perhaps the biggest surprise will come from Jonathan Albaladejo. He is a 6'5, 250 lb hard throwing right hander who may be able to bridge the eight inning to get to Rivera.

2008 will the last season that baseball will be played at historic Yankee Stadium. The House that Ruth Built will become a museum as the Yankees will move next door for the 2009 season. Expect sold out home games all summer as well as an AL East battle with the defending World Series Champion Boston Red Sox. The two bitter rivals will play 18 times including the final three games of the season at Fenway Park.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

President Isiah Thomas Up to Old Tricks

Washington, DC - February 14, 2018 President Isiah Lord Thomas III announced today that he has plans to meet with his cabinet in order to try to keep gas prices from spiking to over $10,000 a barrell. President Thomas, or as his likes to be referred to lately, Magic Juan, made these statements after he completed a shopping spree with long time Advisor Flava Flav.

Secretary of State James Dolan provided his unconditional support to Thomas stating, "In all the years I have known President Thomas, he has never steered me wrong nor will he steer this country wrong." The New York Tims has been recently reported that Dolan is blind and/or death in both ears.

This news comes on the heels of recent Croatian President Vlad Divac's announcement at the World Summit in January that he believes President Thomas needs to "restore America's proven track record of controlling the world economy. Just look at President Thomas' past ventures. He has the ability to the lead the free world more successfully than anyone since George W. Bush back at the turn of the century." Repeated assassination attempts on President Divac have been unsuccessful.

Speaking from a crowded room deep inside the Microsoft House, formerly known as the White House, President Thomas spoke confidently in his ability to control outrageous gas and oil prices. "Fourscore and 18 years ago, I turned the Knicks from a 12 win a year team into a 15 win a year team. That being totally relevant, I should have no problem lowering oil and gas prices. Give me 5 minutes with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia and I have him traded to Iraq for Eddie Curry and some excess oil to be named later. The don't call me the Smiling Assasin for nothing."

Thomas' Adminsitration has called for troops to be imposed in the Middle East but Thomas has all but declared he does not believe in that kind of defense against gas and oil. Nor does he believe in defense of any sort. But that is what makes the 47th President of the United States unique. His ability to see the problem before it happens and make it that much worse.

In recent polls, President Thomas' approval rating has been hovering around 14%, or roughly the Knicks winning percentange with him as coach.

President Thomas separately held a ceremony in the Rose Garden presented by Starbucks, Tuesday commemorating his Fire Isiah, Tickle Me Isiah, and Touched by Isiah clothing lines. WalmartSearsTarget & Co will sell the line at all local stores. T-Shirts will only come in black and pink as Thomas is said to not like whites that much.

First Lady Anucha Brown Sanders-Thomas was on hand but declined comment for fear of anything she says will be met with President Thomas' fists behind closed doors.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Sports Worst Losses

I, Roger Clemens, swear to lie, tell nothing but lies, so help me Jose Canseco.

Oh wait, this column is supposed to be about sports worst losses not biggest liars. Sorry back to the originally scheduled column.

Vanderbilt 41 - Kentucky 11.

That is not a typo.

Kentucky, with its historic past and current day all-americans, put up exactly 11 points in the first 20 minutes. It was there lowest total in a half since the invention of the shot clock in 1986. As bad as the first half was, the Wildcats didn't fair any better in the second half as they ended up losing by 41 points, 93-52. It was their worst ever SEC loss.

"To have them stomp us into the ground like that, it's horrible," freshman Patrick Patterson said.

As bad as Kentucky's loss was, it was far from the worst loss in college basketball history. That dubious distinction belongs to D-III Ohio State-Marion. On December 2, 2006, they lost to Lincoln University (PA) 201-78.

These are some more of the worst losses in sports history:

The worst loss in NFL history was in the 1940 NFL Championship game when the Chicago Bears defeated the Washington Redskins 73-0. The sad part is that is a Championship game. It was pitting the two best teams against each other. Little known fact about this game: Bill Belichick was Chicago's offensive coordinator who wouldn't quit after Chicago its 66th point.

Miami lost 148-80 at Cleveland on Dec. 17, 1991. The Heat weren't even warm (thank you thank you) in losing by 68 points that night. Serves the Heat right for using a line up that included Bimbo Coles, Ronny Seikaly, and Glen Rice. Coach Kevin Loughery eventually benched his starting 5 in favor of players like Milos Babik, Keith Askins and Sherman Douglass. Kevin Loughery has not been heard from again.

College Football
In 1916, Georgia Tech defeated Cumberland College by the score of 222-0. First off, what is Georgia Tech, a school that has won 22 bowl games and 2 ACC titles, doing playing Cumberland College? And for that matter, who and/or what is Cumberland College? Do you realize that 222-0 is GT scoring 37 touchdowns and that's assuming no extra points were kicked. Just my two cents, but I think Cumberland should look to discontinue their football program.

The worst loss in Hockey history came back in 1920. The Montreal Canadiens beat the old Quebec City Bulldogs 16-3. That's a 13 goal difference. On a related note, the Bulldogs waived the goaltender the following day.

The Chicago Colts beat the Louisville Colonels 36-7 in 1897. Honus Wagner was a rookie on that Louisville squad,f oul balls did not count as strikes, and curiously, this was the last time Mark Prior and Kerry Wood were healthy at the same time.

College Basketball
In 2006, Lincoln University (Pennslyvania) broke 6 D-III records on there way to a 201-78 victory over Ohio State-Marion. Sami Wylie of Lincoln shot the ball 44 times in 24 minutes of play. Just one guy. One person. Sami Wylie shot the ball 44 times in 24 minutes of play. Stephon Marbury thinks that's excessive. The 123 point win is the largest in NCAA history. The previous record was held by Eureka College in a 149-37 victory over Borat in 1989. When you beat up on hapless Kazakh journalists, the game just isn't fun anymore.....High-Five

Monday, February 11, 2008

Weekend Roundup and Headlines...

Pedro and Marichal Cockfighting:
While Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee where trading bitch slaps last week, a potential major story went by under the radar. Hall of Fame pitcher Juan Marichal and eventual Hall of Fame pitcher Pedro Martinez were caught on tape in the Domincan Republic at a cockfight. It was unclear as to who the combantants in the ring where but sources report it was a 4 way single elimanation tournament between Little Jerry Seinfeld, Martin Gramatica, Juarez Griffin (Peter's long lost Spanish cousin), and Muggsy Bogues with special guest referee Martin Lawrence. Pedro had $2K riding on Little Jerry at 35 to 1 odds. However, he was beaten brutally in under 10 seconds by a ferorious Martin Gramatica.

Fool's Gold was the number 1 movie at the box office this weekend raking in $22 million. This was a dirty conspiracy and trick by women nationwide. Drag your man to see this crappy chick flick because he made you watch football on Sundays for the past 5 months. We are on to you. Just wait, the NCAA tournmanent starts in a month. Who's the fool now?

After a grueling 37 week process of interviewing potential head coaches, Daniel Synder has decided on Seahawks QB Coach Jim Zorn. Zorn has no head coaching experience but the trend in the NFL is to hire young, smart, first time coaches. There in lies the problem. Zorn is 54, the Seahawks were 11th in offense in 2007 but he is a first time coach. Hey Daniel, 9 of the last 11 head coaches of the Super Bowl winning team were on their second stint as a coach. Way to do
your homework Dan.
Technically, the NFL didn't end when Manning (yes that was Eli) downed the football at the end of the Super Bowl to bring home a championship to New York. There was still the Pro Bowl to be played. I guess it was played last night after all. I choose to watch rythmic gymnastics while flipping to the thrilling conclusion of the final round of the PGA Senior Tour instead of watching half assed attempts to play defense.

I am so glad that Clemens will be testifying on the Hill. Once we clean up baseball once and for all, we can then concentrate on the little things: inflation, gas prices, unemployment, tax cuts, Iraq....


Odds are your mother probably slept with Wilt Chamberlain

After 3 years, Quentin Thomas becomes relevant

Football fans catch up on their sleep as Pro Bowl is played

Man gives girlfriend, a Patriots fan, a Giants Super Bowl T-Shirt for Valentine's Day

Song Lyrics officially to American Pie changed:
"The day New England died, they started singing bye bye perfection is dead, David Tyree trapped a pass up against his head"
Jackie Chiles to defend Roger Clemens

Only 365 days until the Pro Bowl...

Friday, February 8, 2008

Jim Mora Jr. to Coach Seahawks in 2009, Annouce team will go 5-11

Seattle, WA - (Associated Press) The Seattle Seahawks released a statement Wednesday saying they will be promoting assistant head coach and defensive backs coach Jim Mora Jr. to head coach once Mike Holmgren retires after the 2008 season.

The statement went on to say that the Seahawks now "expect to finish the 2009 season at 5-11 due to Coach Mora's shortcomings as a coach and his ability to run the Forty-Niners into the ground."

This wasn't the only bizarre statement from the NFL yesterday as some of the other 31 teams made an annoucement regarding their franchises:

-Raiders announce they will sign Barry Bonds to a 15 year, $325 Million contract in 2010.

-Jets announce they will be joining the Big East in hopes to battle with Rutgers to become bowl eligable.

-Browns announce Charlie Weiss will reunite with current coach Romeo Crennel to become a "formiddable 2 person offensive line."

-Chiefs announce they will try to play the 2008 and 2009 seasons to "win the game" as opposed to 2007 when they played for 4th place in the AFC West.

-Cardinals front office announces incompetance.

-Packers announce that in 2016 Aaron Rodgers will retire after 10 years in the league and no playing time due to Brett Favre coming back for yet another season at qb.

-Bengals announce they have the right to remian silent.

-Falcons announce plans to hang on to a coach for more than 13 games

-Dolphins announce plans to hire Jim Mora Sr to tell team "playoffs? we'll be lucky to win a game"

-Lions announce they will be selecting Cal WR Desean Jackson in 2008 and Florida WR Percy Harvin in 2009.

-Giants announce by week 3, fans will call for Tom Coughlin to be fired.

-Patriots announce plans to partner with Sony, NetFlix, and Blockbuster

-Vikings announce Jeff George to compete for QB spot in 2011