Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Shaq No Longer in D-Wade's 5

Miami, FL - (AP News Wire) Rumors are circling that Shaquille O'Neal is being traded to the Phoenix Suns for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks. The offer has not been approved by the NBA but word out of South Beach is one reporter for the Miami Herald noticed Shaq is no longer in Dwayne Wade's "5".

Wade and Shaq have made a formidable combination since Shaq was traded to the Heat in 2004. They captured an NBA Title togther and Shaq even gave Wade the nickname Flash. However, ever since watching the comedic, action adventure movie "Kazaam" in the off season, Wade has alarmingly become standish with the Diesel. "I can understand his frustration," said a Heat teammate "That movie was worse than 3 Ninjas: Highnoon at Mega Mountain."

The rift in the relationship has become apparent to anyone watching a Heat game this year. Shaq came into this season in typical Shaq game shape these days - overweight and lethargic. Word out of the Miami locker room was that D Wade was not talking to his mentor because he was tired of hearing Shaq's dumb jokes and deep voice along with his atroscious play.

"I think the straw that broke the camel's back in the relationship came earlier this year in Detriot," said teammate Jason Kapono. "Shaq came back from injury and looked like a blind man trying drive a bus - out of control and dangerous. He was has since been bricking every shot and fouling out of most games."

Couple this with Shaq's unrelenting text messages to Wade, apparently thinking they were still tight, and Wade had had enough. It was enough to make him remove Shaq from his "5" on his T-Mobile cell. "Yo, Flash. Teach me how to shoot free throws." and "Yo, D. Do you think I'm overweight?" were some of Shaq's latest text messages.

When asked about Shaq's possible trade to Phoenix Wade told reporters, "He's Nash's problem now. I hope Steve like's his big men to play no D and constantly trip over their own feet."

It's safe to say that while Shaq may no longer be in Wade's "5", at least one other overweight loud mouth is still there and bossing Wade around like a child - Sir Charles.

Anything else would be uncivilized.

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