Monday, February 11, 2008

Weekend Roundup and Headlines...

Pedro and Marichal Cockfighting:
While Roger Clemens and Brian McNamee where trading bitch slaps last week, a potential major story went by under the radar. Hall of Fame pitcher Juan Marichal and eventual Hall of Fame pitcher Pedro Martinez were caught on tape in the Domincan Republic at a cockfight. It was unclear as to who the combantants in the ring where but sources report it was a 4 way single elimanation tournament between Little Jerry Seinfeld, Martin Gramatica, Juarez Griffin (Peter's long lost Spanish cousin), and Muggsy Bogues with special guest referee Martin Lawrence. Pedro had $2K riding on Little Jerry at 35 to 1 odds. However, he was beaten brutally in under 10 seconds by a ferorious Martin Gramatica.

Fool's Gold was the number 1 movie at the box office this weekend raking in $22 million. This was a dirty conspiracy and trick by women nationwide. Drag your man to see this crappy chick flick because he made you watch football on Sundays for the past 5 months. We are on to you. Just wait, the NCAA tournmanent starts in a month. Who's the fool now?

After a grueling 37 week process of interviewing potential head coaches, Daniel Synder has decided on Seahawks QB Coach Jim Zorn. Zorn has no head coaching experience but the trend in the NFL is to hire young, smart, first time coaches. There in lies the problem. Zorn is 54, the Seahawks were 11th in offense in 2007 but he is a first time coach. Hey Daniel, 9 of the last 11 head coaches of the Super Bowl winning team were on their second stint as a coach. Way to do
your homework Dan.
Technically, the NFL didn't end when Manning (yes that was Eli) downed the football at the end of the Super Bowl to bring home a championship to New York. There was still the Pro Bowl to be played. I guess it was played last night after all. I choose to watch rythmic gymnastics while flipping to the thrilling conclusion of the final round of the PGA Senior Tour instead of watching half assed attempts to play defense.

I am so glad that Clemens will be testifying on the Hill. Once we clean up baseball once and for all, we can then concentrate on the little things: inflation, gas prices, unemployment, tax cuts, Iraq....

Headlines

Odds are your mother probably slept with Wilt Chamberlain

After 3 years, Quentin Thomas becomes relevant

Football fans catch up on their sleep as Pro Bowl is played

Man gives girlfriend, a Patriots fan, a Giants Super Bowl T-Shirt for Valentine's Day

Song Lyrics officially to American Pie changed:
"The day New England died, they started singing bye bye perfection is dead, David Tyree trapped a pass up against his head"
Jackie Chiles to defend Roger Clemens

Only 365 days until the Pro Bowl...

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